These steps to bringing the spark back into your relationship are so simple you may laugh and just glance over them. But how many of you can honestly say that you are doing all of them? Even if you’re only doing one or two it’s not enough.
Start incorporating all 5 into your daily life and see how things change between you and your partner. In the very beginning of a relationship these simple things come naturally but as our relationships move forward we get busy with work, kids, family and life. We think that just because we are married, live with or dating our lover that we don’t have to try anymore. How wrong that is!
You should be trying every day and treating your relationship as if it could end any day. In the beginning of a relationship we go the length to get our lover’s attention so they won’t leave us but once we settle into a routine as a couple, live in partners or married we forget to try to keep our partner interested in us by doing small things.
Start by communicating with your lover about what you’re doing to get them involved or just start doing these simple things and see how they react.
Hug – You can tell a lot about a couple by how they hug; how long they embrace, how they hug to who pulls away first. Most couples don’t hug each other and they are missing out on so much when they don’t. Hugging can add a whole new level of intimacy. Most of us don’t know how to hug or don’t really hug in a way that fosters a sense of connection. I know it sounds simple but really hugging someone is hard work. Make a point of really hugging your partner 3 times a day. Morning, after work and before bed. Studies have shown that all it takes is a single twenty-second hug to significantly raise oxytocin levels and leave you both feeling calmer and more connected.
Kiss – Remember your first kiss with your lover and how it immediately got sparks flying? Remember how much it aroused you and got your libido going? As we settle into a couple a lot of us stop kissing. We just have sex and leave out the kissing. Why not go up to your lover and start by kissing them on the lips softly then a little more. See what happens. Next time you’re having sex tell your partner you want to kiss them for a little while before sex. Start making out again.
Kissing doesn’t always have to be sexual. It can be sweet and enduring. Remember early in your relationship when your lover kissed your hand, forehead, neck or cheek and how it made you feel or maybe it gave you goose bumps? Start doing that again by just walking up to your lover and kissing them on the cheek in the morning before leaving for work. Kiss them when they get home or before bed. Kissing doesn’t always have to lead to sex. Here’s an article on Kissing As Medicine For Yourself.
Make eye contact – Remember staring into your lovers eyes when you first meet? Staying up all night talking to them, staring at them in the restaurant while dining, or looking into their eyes when having sex. Making eye contact with someone is very personal and intimate experience. Many people find it hard to look into people’s eyes for too long without having to glance away. As we settle into our relationships we spend less time really looking at our lovers. We get busy with work and life. We get up in the morning and are in a hurry to leave to work. We say good morning but without really looking at our lovers. Then we come home and do the same thing. We need to slow down and take the time to look at our lovers. This builds intimacy and closeness to your lover. If you feel as if it’s lost then start by making eye contact again. Sit down for breakfast or dinner and take time to look and talk with your partner.
Give a compliment – Who doesn’t love a compliment especially when it’s from the person we love or dating? Again the more we date sometimes the less compliments we give our lover because we think we already “have them” but you need to think that you can lose your lover at any time. A compliment goes a long way and can really make someone’s day. You could be having a crappy day then all of a sudden your lover gives you a compliment and it completely changes your day. The same goes for your lover. Give them compliments and they are more than likely to give you one in return. Stop giving compliments and so will your lover. You should be complimenting each other every day. It doesn’t have to be about looks, it can be about anything that they do. And don’t forget to compliment your lover in the bedroom. A lot of people actually don’t do this. They have sex and say it was amazing but don’t compliment on what they found amazing. Maybe she did something great with her mouth on your cock. If so tell her so she’ll do it again and know that you liked it. If not she may think you didn’t like it and not do it again? Maybe something about her hair while you were having sex was super sexy? Then tell her. Or maybe your man has been working out and his abs looked good in the light when he was on top or bottom? Then tell him. Compliments make us feel good and why wouldn’t you want your lover to feel good.
Communicate – I can’t stress this one enough. Without communication you don’t have a relationship, instead you’re just going through the motions. In the beginning of a relationship you guys stay up for hours talking and getting to know one another. Then you get into a relationship and think you know everything. You should always be learning more about your lover and sharing things with them. There are always things to talk about and if you really lover your partner why wouldn’t you want to communicate with them? It’s not just about everyday things but communicated about kids, finances, work, etc. is very important in a relationship so that you both know what’s going on. Even if one person is in charge of the finances you should still keep them in the loop and share things. Even more important is communicating about sex. Without sex in a relationship you just have a roommate. People find it so hard to talk about sex with their lovers but they have no problem talking about finances, kids, work, etc. Who wouldn’t want to talk about sex? It’s fun! Also, how is your partner supposed to know what you like in the bedroom if you don’t share with them and vice versa. Ask what your partner wants. Even if you’ve been dating them or married you never really know what your partner wants sexually unless you ask them. If you’ve never asked before sometimes they can be shy and may not share as much at first but keep communicating and they will open up and feel more comfortable.
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