Eastern Europe has always had a very kinky reputation and Poland, especially, is one of the edgiest places to visit for a naughty holiday. Krakow is the country’s second largest city, located in the south near the border with another naughty nation, the Czech Republic. Packed with ancient buildings and cobbled streets, you can smell the history here, which adds to the air of erotic decadence, particularly around the Royal Castle and the famous Rynek Glowny; the largest medieval square in Europe. But although Krakow looks innocently pretty on the outside, there’s a deliciously sinful personality underneath, so I’ve put together this quick guide to help you get the most out of a visit to this sexy, sultry city. I’d recommend staying in Krakow for at least 4 days as there’s lots to see inside Krakow and outside the city limits.
Naughty Airport Transfer
The fun starts the moment you touch down on Polish soil. Whether you’re in a group or it’s just you and your lover having a naughty weekend away, start things off in style by hiring a stretch limo to take you from the airport to your hotel. But this is no ordinary ride, because also included is a sexy stripper to keep you entertained on the thirty minute journey into the city. All you have to do is sit back with your complimentary sparkling wine and enjoy the show. You can also throw in extras such as having a hot hitchhiker flag down your limo to catch a ride – she’ll be happy to pay her way by performing a sexy show for your you or your group. Or you can book a sexy maid to serve up a personal GoGo dance or two in the privacy of your hotel room. Tailor your trip to suit you so your time in Krakow gets off to an explosive start.
Kanonicza st. 16
This is a gorgeous boutique hotel on the city’s oldest street. It’s a glorious Gothic building minutes from the castle and has just 29 rooms, so there’s a real feeling of intimacy and romance. The suites here are full of high ceilings, old paintings, huge beds and plush fabrics, as well as marble bathrooms with a range of spa-quality toiletries (there’s a fabulous wellness center in the Gothic cellar, full of vaulted brick ceilings and candlelight.) It feels very church-like throughout, and there’s nothing naughtier than having sex surrounded by pictures of saints and other religious icons! Poland is a very inexpensive city, so it makes sense to splash out on a sumptuous suite to keep the sexiness switched to the max.
Berka Joselewicza 19
Another sexy hotel, between the square and the bohemian district of Kazimierz. It’s more contemporary but just as decadent, with floor to ceiling windows, large white bathrooms and luxury bedding, as well as blackout curtains which make it easier to stay in bed for longer. There’s a gorgeous summer garden, too, perfect for warm, sexy evenings with your lover, and the hotel gym is great for working up a sweat.
3a Mazowiecka St.
This has to be the naughtiest hostel ever! Decorated in art deco, boudoir style with erotic nudes on the walls, this is the perfect place to stay for young naughty travelers looking for somewhere inexpensive. Hostels are very intimate because you’re sharing a room with other guests, making it a bit naughty. They also have a bar where guests come together to mingle, drink and share travel stories.
Burlesque Dinner Show
Krakow is well-known for its spicy entertainment shows. This club is open every day except Sunday and you can choose from a regular dinner show or private hire in their exclusive VIP room upstairs. It’s got quite a French, dance hall vibe to it, with red velvet chairs, lots of greenery, a mezzanine level and plenty of mirrors and chandeliers, and the shows range from traditional cabaret to burlesque revues, masked balls and even jazz nights, plus one of Krakow’s few drag acts. It’s a favorite with Krakow’s bohemian, artsy crowd, so if you want a night of sultry, smoky music and dance, this is the place to come.
No naughty vacation would be complete without a visit to a strip club, and this is probably one of the most exclusive. If you’re in a group, buy a package which will save you money over the course of the night and includes drinks, a booth and a set number of private dances. It’s a modern venue with comfortable leather seating, a multicolored pole dance platform and a well-stocked bar, but it still has that heady, seedy air of a traditional Eastern European strip club so it’s a great place to live out those strip club fantasies. Dances at the table start from just 70 zloty (US$18) so you could be here for quite a while! Check out their website for other promotional discounts which can save you cash to spend elsewhere on your naughty vacation.
This is one of Krakow’s sexiest restaurants, a traditional eatery with lots of mahogany, tiled floors and quirky artwork covering the sultry red walls. There’s a very rustic vibe here, with plenty of candles and low lighting, so it’s the perfect venue for a romantic dinner. Starka is also the name of a popular Polish vodka, so they have a great choice of vodka cocktails. Try the ginger vodka to add a spicy kick to your meal.
+48 12 384 08 06
This restaurant is for something more upmarket and decadent. It’s a lofty space with bright white vaulted ceilings, a black & white tiled marble floor and dishes which really do look too good to eat. The restaurant is routinely mentioned in Michelin restaurant guides, so if you’re out to impress your lover, this is definitely the place that’s going to do it.
For elegance with a wow factor, try Restaurant Padre, located inside a converted church. This is romance central, with exposed brick walls, white furniture, flattering low lighting and some truly sumptuous dishes. In the summer you can dine alfresco under a canopy of vines.
Sexy Dance Clubs
Although there are lots of nightclub-style places, the really naughty clubs are the ones which offer intimacy, comfort and VIP service, like this one, just off the main square. It’s a club which caters for different moods, with ten different rooms in various colors and styles, so whatever you’re after – intimacy, socializing, entertainment or just some quiet ambient tunes, there’s a room for you. The staff here are big on service so you’ll be treated like royalty from the moment you walk in.
For a late night dinner and dance, go to Baroque, again just off the main square. Built on two levels, there’s a garden level for al fresco cocktails and dining, plus a stage for entertainment. Inside, there’s a luxurious dining room plus a cellar full of bars and booths, so you can either settle in for an evening of dinner and dancing, or just wander at your leisure, road-testing the amazing cocktails.
Sex Toy & Lingerie Stores
Sex Shop Krakow
Berka Joselewicza 18
What better souvenir of your naughty trip to Krakow than spoiling yourselves with some new sex toys or sexy lingerie? Sex stores are not in short supply here, but some are better than others. This one does what it says on the label, stocking a comprehensive selection of vibes, dildos and erotic clothing and footwear.
Coco Adult Shop
This store has a more refined collection of sex toys, concentrating on look, feel and luxury. They do a great range of lubes, scents and anal toys here, plus they have a great online store too, so if you forget that vital souvenir to remind you of your stay, just go to their website and get it sent over. They’ve got some pretty hot naughty DVDs, too, so if you and your lover want to spend the night locked in your hotel room, get prepared.
Christies Lingerie Boutique
For some hot lingerie to remind you of your stay, head for this exclusive boutique in the Old Town. It’s a beautiful historic building with equally beautiful lingerie, elegant and sexy. Browsing the rails inside the whitewashed interior, complete with black and white erotic photos on the walls and fresh flowers everywhere, it’ll be hard not to get carried away with the credit card.