When It’s Time To Take A Break From Dating
Are you a serial dater, someone who is never single but who can rarely hold down a long-term relationship? Do you drift from women to woman without ever finding ‘the one?’ Do you always feel unfulfilled but never know why? If this sounds like you, then it might be time to take a break from dating. There’s nothing wrong with being single for a while, in fact it’s essential, so you can get to know yourself properly and learn what truly makes you happy. Successful relationships are built on confidence, trust and knowing who you are. Here are five warning which might be telling you it’s time to take a break from dating.
1. You’re always ‘on the lookout’ for other women
So you’re with your girlfriend and you’ve been together a while, but you’re still checking out every hot girl who walks into the bar or restaurant. Obviously, being in a relationship doesn’t mean you switch off your other senses but if you’re easily distracted by other women, especially when you’re with your lover, then you have to start questioning whether the feelings you have for her are real.
2. You panic when you’re single
You can’t remember the last time you were single and the thought terrifies you. You think it’s sad to be on your own, as though having a girlfriend is a mark of success and confidence. Actually, the opposite is true. Single men who are single by choice are demonstrating how strong they are, that they’re confident in their own company and that they don’t need anybody else to ‘complete’ them. Also, deliberately single men are sexy as hell to other women. Going to a bar or club on your own will definitely make women notice you – but for all the right reasons. Taking a break from dating gives you a chance to get to know yourself and, once you’re confident about who you are, you’ll be more choosy about who you share yourself with.
3. You don’t pay attention to how your partner feels
Being in a relationship means compromise, emotional investment and empathy. But when was the last time you really knew what was going on in your lover’s head? Do you even care? If you’re a serial dater, then chances are you’re only with your girlfriend for sex, convenience, attention and companionship. You don’t really ‘know’ her (because you don’t want to,) and she definitely doesn’t know you. So why bother? All the time you’re wasting on short-term relationships which fizzle out after a couple of months could be better spent by yourself, getting to know who you are.
4. You don’t know what makes you happy
Do you have ambitions, goals, personal targets that you’re working towards? Or do you just drift through life aimlessly, assuming ‘something’ will just turn up to excite and inspire you? Serial daters usually go from girl to girl because they just don’t know what they want and, even if they do, they have no idea how to get it. They validate themselves through the person they’re with, instead of taking any pride or care in what they’re actually doing with their own lives. Taking a break from dating will give you the time to examine exactly what you want from life. You’re in control of your own happiness, so man up and start making your life actually matter.
5. Monogamy just doesn’t work for you
Most of us are conditioned to believe that monogamy is the only form of acceptable relationship. So if you fall in and out of relationships as easily as you fall in and out of bed, it might be that monogamy just isn’t for you. Explore alternatives, like open relationships, swinging, polyamory and casual dating. As long as you’re honest and up front with potential partners about what you’re after (or not after,) then you can finally find out what kind of relationship does suit you. It’s not uncommon for previously-monogamous men to find the true loves of their lives while in an open or polyamorous relationship. It’s about finding someone who thinks the same as you, whatever kind of relationship you end up in. So stop dating and take time out to explore the alternatives.
For much more information and advice on when to know when it’s time to take a break from dating, check out my Dating Coaching Program.