How To Express Your Sexuality/Sensuality
The thing with confidence is that once you’ve got it, it can be difficult to know what to do with it. The trick is to make it radiate from within. You don’t have to be an extrovert or a show-off to be sexy – in fact, it’s usually loud people who are the most insecure on the inside. Instead, you simply have to look at different areas of your life and develop ways of showing your new sexual confidence and sensuality through other things. Here are five examples:
1. Use your home as a form of self-expression
Your home is an extension of you, it represents your personality, desires and temperament. Your lover will be able to discover so many things about you just by looking at the color schemes you choose, the artwork you like, and the sights, smells and sounds you like to surround yourself with. Your home is also a bold statement of intent – it’s your sanctuary, your territory, and it’s the perfect base from which to express your sensuality. Fill the living room with flowers and the fridge with aphrodisiacs. Paint a red wall in your bedroom and buy some sexy satin sheets to tempt your lover inside. A sheepskin rug by the fire screams long winter nights of sex, while the erotic black and white art on the walls tells people you have a creative, naughty streak just waiting to be discovered.
2. Clear the closet
We all have clothes we seem to hang on to which are well past their sell-by date. But if you want to feel truly invigorated and ready for new and passionate challenges, you need to be ruthless about throwing out anything that doesn’t fit you or make you look like a sex goddess. You’ve got to imagine you’re in the Big Brother house being observed 24/7. So if you wouldn’t want the world seeing you lounge about in saggy sweats or a faded T shirt, throw them out! Kit your closet out with sexy lingerie instead, and feel amazing and sensual all the time.
3. Create rituals
Gaining confidence is hard, so when you finally reach that stage where you’re happy with who you are, you need to do everything you can to stay in that zone. Creating your own rituals not only makes you feel good, but they get you into the habit of pampering yourself on a daily basis. Smothering yourself with lotions and potions shouldn’t be a treat, it should be a necessity. Buying fresh flowers or a sexy dress shouldn’t need an occasion to justify it – you are the occasion.
Nothing screams confidence as much as the desire to dance. You don’t have to be Beyonce, you don’t even need to have natural rhythm, you just need to move and keep moving. Your natural, sexy confidence will shine through and no-one will really care whether you’re any good or not – they’ll be spellbound by your vivacity and couldn’t-give-a-shit attitude. That is what men are attracted to, not whether you can master a perfect Foxtrot. So next time you’re in that club, cut a swathe to the dancefloor and move that sexy body without a shred of shame.
5. Be the leader
Expressing your sexuality means knowing how to ask for what you want. Men might like to think they’re in charge, but I haven’t met a guy yet who isn’t turned on by a dominant woman. We’ve all got a diva hidden inside of us, so don’t be afraid to unleash her and let her start changing the rules and making some of her own. When it comes to sex, especially, be the initiator. Tell your lover what you’re going to do to him, and what you’d like him to do to you. Don’t mince words – men like to be told straight. The feeling of power this will give you is intoxicating.
For many more ways to express your sexuality/sensuality, check out my Confidence Coaching Program and learn how to introduce your new, confident self to the big wide world.