Stop Dating And Have Fun
The pressures of dating can make it feel like a chore instead of something to embrace and enjoy. Often we get intimidated and we concentrate too much on what can go wrong instead of what can go right. Dating means putting yourself out there, with all the insecurities and uncertainties that go with it, so it’s no wonder that some people would rather hide away than risk getting hurt. But it doesn’t have to be like that. The key to successful dating is to just go with the flow. Lower your expectations of the date or, better still, don’t have any expectations at all. That way, you’ll be more relaxed and your date is going to see the real you instead of the person you’re pretending to be just to impress him. In short, stop treating dates like dates – here are four ways how.
1. Know your dating style
The most important question to ask yourself before a date is “what do I want from it?.” Some girls want to hook up with a guy just for a fun time, or for some easy sex. You might be looking for a casual relationship, or even ‘the one.’ Whatever your objective, being honest about it will help you find someone with a similar agenda. And once you do meet someone, you have to keep on being honest. You may be on a date with the hottest guy on earth, but if it becomes clear early on that he’s after a wife and kids, while you just want to play the field, then you have to suck it up and say so, otherwise you’re wasting both his time and your own.
2. Change your attitude
Dating isn’t something you ‘have to do’ in order to meet Mr Right. I’ve heard lots of girls say things like “oh I don’t want to go on this date but I suppose I have to…” Thinking this way means that you’ve already dismissed any chance of the date succeeding, and your date will pick up on this. Being around someone who doesn’t want to be there is not sexy, so why bother? Instead of treating dates as a chore, think of them as blank scripts which haven’t been written yet. If it goes badly, you haven’t lost anything. But what if it has the potential to turn into a big romantic blockbuster? You’re never going to know if you don’t have a positive mental attitude towards dating.
3. Ditch the negativity about men
Too many women have a negative attitude towards guys. Maybe you’ve had a bad relationship in the past and it’s colored your opinions. Sure, there are some real bad apples out there, but you could say that about anyone – it’s human nature and the law of averages. Holding on to that negativity is going to impact future dates. It also means that you’re only going to attract one kind of guy – the ones who treat you badly. No confident, kind and honest man is going to go near a woman who has such a downer on guys, so you have to stop pre-judging and instead treat each date like the unique individual he is, the same way you’d want him to treat you. And even if the guy isn’t into you, so what? It doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with either of you. You just have to get back out there and try again. The other bonus of adopting a more positive attitude towards men is that your self-confidence will shine through and that will draw men to you like moths to a flame.
4. Go with the flow
You can’t control life and you can’t control people, but you can take control of your own happiness. Recognizing that things won’t always go to plan is a big step towards enjoying a successful dating lifestyle. You won’t get on with every guy you meet and not every date is going to end in fireworks, but if you can learn to enjoy yourself regardless, then you’ll always come out on top. Men are women are attracted to one another not just by looks but by pheromones, body language and, above all, confidence. If you are happy within yourself and know what you want from dating, you’re much more likely to attract a guy who thinks the same way. And, if things don’t turn out the way you’d hoped, you shake it off and carry on. Life has a funny way of putting us on the right path, even if you have to go all around the houses to get there. You might have to kiss a few frogs before the handsome prince finally arrives, but as long as you believe he’s out there, you’ll find him.
For more advice on how to stop dating and have fun, check out my Dating Coaching Program and learn how to banish the fear of dating forever.