Spring Clean Your Relationship With Yourself
Relationships don’t necessarily have to involve other people. After all, the most important relationship anybody can have, is the one with yourself. Nobody can share love, knowledge and intimacy if they have no idea what makes themselves tick. So it’s time to get to know yourself, to spring clean your own life so you can clear enough space in your mind, your home and your love life to enable you to move forward and make your life richer and more fulfilling.
Spend More Time With Yourself
It’s so important to spend some quality time with yourself. That might sound strange, because you’re obviously always with yourself, but what I mean is you need to do things for yourself instead of spreading yourself around family and friends or doing errands.
A lot of people, if they’re not spending time with others, then they’re spending hours on the computer, the tablet or the phone. That isn’t spending quality time with yourself, it’s procrastinating, it’s wasting time, it’s dulling down your own senses, and all of that means that you’re losing touch with who you are and the things which inspire you.
So it’s time to spring clean by switching off the TV, turning off your phone, and doing something with your time. It could be something simple like just soaking in a hot bath or reading a book. Or you could take yourself out to dinner, or to the movies.
Don’t go thinking that activities like that are for couples or families only – plenty of people eat out alone, I know I do! I love people-watching and just soaking up the buzz of the world going on around me. I also love experimenting with new cuisines, and I also love losing myself in a good movie, so why shouldn’t I do those things in public?
Go see something you wouldn’t normally see, or go a restaurant you’ve never tried before. Just doing something different is sometimes enough to reignite that adventurous spark inside you and remind yourself that there’s a whole world out there which is waiting for you to discover it.
If you’re really daring, book a solo holiday, even just a weekend in a town, city or resort you’ve never visited before. Traveling alone is empowering, and the best thing is that you get to decide everything you do with no interference from anybody else. Just get to know who you really are, then maybe you’ll realize that there’s a whole new confident personality in there whose time it is to shine.
Move On From A Break-up
Spring cleaning doesn’t always have to be a physical cleanse, it should be an emotional one, too. Having a clear mind always helps you deal better with stress and it makes you a stronger person, too. This is especially true of break-ups, when it’s hard to move on mentally.
Romantic emotions can have such a power over us, it’s difficult to deal with the loss of love and the loss of trust, especially if the break-up was a bad one. But although you need time to grieve, you also need to move on with your life so you can open up the door for new joy, new adventures and new memories.
Start your emotional spring cleaning by getting rid of anything which reminds you of your ex. Photographs, clothing, gifts etc, it all needs to go because every time you see something which triggers a memory, you run the risk of wallowing in that memory and making yourself depressed again.
If there’s a chance you and your ex might get back together, or some of the triggers are of particular value or meaning, then just box them all up and put them away in the attic or garage, just so they’re out of sight of your everyday life. Then, after a year, or however long you need to confirm that a reunion is not on the cards, then throw it all away.
You need to stop cyber-stalking, too. You know what I mean, always checking out their Facebook statuses or scrolling through their Twitter posts. Remove them from your ‘Friends’ list, unlink them from all other social media, and set up blocks so you’re not even able to search for them.
You could try blocking yourself from discovery, too, so he can’t send you messages or keep tabs on you. You need a clean break and time to process what’s happened, and you can’t do that if you’re seeing him, and what he’s up to, online every five minutes. Similarly, remove him from your phone and delete all texts and photos.
If there are some very happy memories you really want to save, move them to a separate folder and upload it to your computer so you’re not tempted to look at them all the time. Do this with social media pictures, too, just put them in a folder and archive them on your computer. No need having constant reminders around 24/7. Doing all this will help you move on faster and stop you from dwelling on the past or what ‘might have been.’
This is similar to spending time with yourself, but it goes much deeper. Do you appreciate yourself? Do you take yourself for granted? The thing is, we can get so caught up in the lives of others that we don’t stop to take care of ourselves or appreciate who we are. We never congratulate ourselves when we do something notable, either, because it’s seen as arrogant or self-centered. But that’s rubbish.
So next time you complete a big project at work or home, or you reach a milestone with your family, or simply complete a daily task, pat yourself on the back or buy yourself a gift. You work hard, you do things for others, you’re a nice person, so learn how to appreciate yourself and recognize how wonderful you are. It’s one thing to wait for others to tell you you’ve done a good job, but you don’t need to because you already know. Never feel bad about feeling proud.
Do Something Nice For Yourself
Following on from above, just as you should always do nice things for other people, you should also take the time to do nice things for yourself, too. Treat yourself to flowers just because…well, you don’t need a reason, that’s the point! Treat yourself to that fabulous dress you’ve seen online, or take yourself out to dinner to that fancy new restaurant down the block. Whatever it is, do something that makes you happy and don’t feel guilty about the indulgence because you’re worth every second.
Eject The Energy Drainers
It’s time to dust away all those people who drain your energy and make you feel low. This can be a family member, an old friend, a cranky neighbor or a co-worker who seems to make it their mission to make your day miserable. What is it about them which is draining your energy? Is it the way your boss or co-worker talks to you? Then tell them.
You can’t expect things to change if you don’t tell the people concerned about the things that are bothering you. By not speaking up, you’re letting them know it’s okay to treat you that way. Energy drainers don’t have to be people, either, they can be noises or situations which interfere with your life.
Maybe you’re not getting enough sleep because your lover snores, or there’s loud traffic outside, so buy ear plugs and research snoring cures (or make him sleep in a separate bedroom). Some of my own energy drainers included being disturbed by the noise of the vacuum when me cleaner came round, or the sound of assistant’s cell phone when she was working in my house. So I bought a quieter vacuum, and asked my assistant to switch her phone to silent.
The point is, you shouldn’t have to deal with things which might have a solution, so spend this week making a list of all the things which are draining your energy, for whatever reason, and think about what you can do to solve the problem. Crossing off one energy drainer a day will really help you feel clearer and more focused. There will always be new energy drainers which appear in your life from time to time, the key is to identify and solve them as quickly as possible before they become a problem.