Spring Cleaning isn’t just for cleaning junk out of your house, you can use it to spring clean your relationships by seeing what’s working and what isn’t. Our most intimate relationships, both physically and emotionally, tend to be with lovers. We share things, we give a piece of ourselves over to their trust, and we rely on them to travel the same life journey as us. This also means that it’s easy to fall into routines and habits and take the other person for granted, the same as they might do with you.
But thinking that you “have them,” as though they are property or an object, means you’re taking advantage of your comfortable situation, so you need to start ‘spring cleaning’ your relationship to keep it fresh, exciting and more likely to succeed.
This is something you should ideally do together, so talk to your lover and arrange a time to sit down so you can talk through the things below. Even if your lover doesn’t want to participate, you can still do it yourself, and try and implement some of the things you learn.
This is probably the single most important part of any relationship because if you don’t know how to talk to each other, about everything (sex, work, family, hopes and dreams…,) then you don’t really have a relationship in the first place.
When it comes to sex, it’s vital that you both feel able to talk about the things you like, the things you don’t like, and the things you’d like to try. Discussing fantasies is a great way to kick off a discussion about sex.
This doesn’t always mean just jumping in with both feet and telling your lover how you’d love to be bound and gagged while he fucks you, but it can help coax your lover to open up about things they may have thought about but been too afraid to ask you.
Choose something fun or quirky to discuss, like an article you read or a weird and wonderful travel destination you’ve always been curious about. Even if it’s about something banal like work or which groceries you need from the store, just talking to each other regularly will make you both more comfortable about communicating when it comes to the more complicated stuff.
It’s amazing how many couples don’t actually talk to each other, so look at your own relationship and try and notice the amount of communication you and your lover actually manage each day – I guarantee you’ll be surprised at just how little it is.
Things like having kids or a busy job means that, over time, partners talk less and less, so it’s important to re-learn the art of communication and feel that connection spark into life once more, just like it was in the beginning.
In The Bedroom
It’s time to literally spring clean your bedroom because this is where so many important relationship things happen, from pillow talk to actual sex itself. It’s the place you’re most intimate with one another and it’s also a place of sanctuary where you each recharge your physical and emotional batteries.
So take a close look at your bedroom and ask yourself, is it really the most relaxing, comfortable, sexy place it could possibly be? Do the colors, the décor, the sheets, pillows or furniture make you feel truly sensual, relaxed and aroused the way a bedroom should? If not, then this means your sexual energy is being drained every time you walk into the bedroom, and that needs to change right now.
Spring clean by cleaning up together. De-clutter by removing anything which shouldn’t be there. This means no electronics, no pets, no computers, phones or other electrical items, no exercise stuff, and no piles of clothes lying on the floor. Mess, in any form, should be removed, whether it’s your mess or your lover’s. In fact, anything that has nothing to do with sex or sleep, has no place in the bedroom.
Spring Cleaning Together
The month of April is all about ‘out with the old and in with the new,’ so it’s the perfect time to bring you and your lover closer together by joining forces and de-cluttering and cleaning your home. It doesn’t matter if you don’t live together and have separate homes, just do both! Set a list of tasks that need doing, and offer one another naughty rewards for each chore that gets done.
Start or end with bedroom tasks, as mentioned above, and by the time you’re all done, you should both be feeling ready for the ultimate, sexy reward right there in bed. If your spring cleaning tasks are too much for one day, just spread it out over the weekends, which will give you both something to look forward too during the week.
Trust me, when you start getting rid of all the things you just don’t need anymore, not only will the extra space and communication time improve your relationship, but you’ll both feel mentally cleansed, too, which can only benefit your relationship.
As you and your lover embark on your spring cleaning, add to your regular little rewards by having a ‘grand reward’ for each room you complete. Have sex in it! Sex shouldn’t be confined to the bedroom, so every time you complete cleaning and de-cluttering an entire room, celebrate by making love in it. If this doesn’t motivate you to get the whole house done, then n nothing will! And just think, you can do the same thing all over again next April!
We can get so wrapped up in our busy lives, especially if you have kids or a demanding job, that we take partners for granted and forget to show them how much we appreciate what they do for us. Or maybe you’re just not a ‘touchy-feely’ person and find it difficult to show how you feel through touch. But a hug, a kiss, a brush on the arm, all these things can say so much, and they don’t cost a thing to do.
So, this week, make a special effort to show affection to your partner…and keep it going every day of every month of every year. It can be subtle things like making them a cup of coffee, or holding the door open for them (women can do this, too!) Or a simple shoulder rub, stroke of the neck, or a smile that you hold for a few seconds longer in their direction.
Little things really do mean a lot, and good manners go a long way, too. Say please, say thank you, say I love you, and say it all the time, not just when you want something. Making affection part of your day, part of who you are, means it will become a more natural thing for you to do, and your lover will notice the effort you’re making and, hopefully, return the gesture.