Anal sex is one of those subjects that many couples feel embarrassed about discussing. It’s assumed that only men enjoy it, while women find it painful, but this really isn’t true. With plenty of practice and communication, anal sex can be just as pleasurable for girls as it is for guys. We have thousands of sensitive nerve endings back there and when they’re stimulated we can experience extreme pleasure, even to the point of orgasm. Preparation is key, and most women trying anal sex for the first time are pleasantly surprised about just how comfortable and non-traumatic it actually is. In reality, anal sex is not dirty, smelly, unnatural or weird – it’s erotic, intimate, clean and it feels just amazing. So if you want to experience the wonders of anal sex, these are the basics you need to know.
1. Get prepared
You have to take a lot more care when having anal sex, than vaginal sex. We’re delicate back there, prone to rips and tears, so you need to treat your ass with the respect it deserves. Before you start, it’s a good idea to get rid of any gas and go to the toilet – you don’t want any awkward moments as you’re fucking. Also, make sure your lover keeps his fingernails short and smooth – anal sex requires a lot of foreplay and he’ll want to massage/finger you before penetration. Have lots of lube to hand, literally. Your anus is a tight beast, so it needs to be coaxed into opening up and letting something inside.
2. Learn to relax
Lots of foreplay is the key to great anal sex, so getting your brain into gear is one of the most important things to do. Set the mood with incense, soft music, low lights and plenty of kissing. Have your lover explore your asshole with his fingers and tongue (but never go from pussy to asshole and back again as this spreads bacteria.) Ask him to push his pinkie gently inside you and see how your body responds. As you get used to it, get him to push it in further, or maybe two fingers. Once your ass becomes accustomed to the sensation, it’s time for him to try his cock, but have him just tease your opening first, pushing gently and getting further in each time. It’s all about your asshole just learning to accept something inside. Don’t force it, just go with the flow – the more relaxed you are, the easier it will be. Maybe the first few times just stick to foreplay until you feel ‘trained’ enough to go for full penetration. And remember, lubricate, lubricate, lubricate!
3. Use toys
Anal sex toys are specially designed to make sex easier. You can get finger vibes, butt plugs, anal beads and massagers to help train your asshole to let something inside. Solo play is a fabulous way of getting used to all the sensations of anal sex without the pressure of having a lover there to satisfy you. The more you get used to the different ways you can pleasure your ass, the better the experience will be with your lover, because you’ll be able to tell him exactly how you like it. Only ever use toys designed for anal play, and always use plenty of lube.
4. Share the joy
Anal sex can be a two-way street, so suggest to your lover that he indulge, too. The prostate – often called ‘The Male G-Spot’ – is a potent sexual hotspot which can trigger powerful orgasms, so why would he not want to enjoy that? The problem is that lots of guys think that only gay men ‘receive,’ but that’s way off the mark. Treat your lover to a prostate massager, which is specially designed to stimulate his prostate. You can use it on him to give him a climax to remember, it’s a back door hand job! He’ll also enjoy anal beads and butt plugs, just make sure you have your own toys, for hygiene purposes.
For much more information about how to enjoy anal sex, and how to bring it up with your lover, check out my Sex Coaching Program.