How To Use Geisha Culture To Help With
Confidence, Sex & Dating
The geisha are a fascinating sub-culture of ancient Japanese femininity. With origins as far back as the 17th century, there is a misconception that geisha (there is no ‘s’ for the plural) were prostitutes trained to serve Japanese nobility. In fact, geisha were highly-educated and cultured women whose main task was to intellectually stimulate and entertain men at high-class social gatherings.
However, because many Japanese cultures were sexually liberated and fidelity was not expected between husband and wife, it was assumed that providing sex was also one of the remits of geisha, especially as prostitution was legal until 1900. In reality, though, the original geisha provided only intellectual conversation and musical entertainment, never sex. More surprising is the fact that the first geisha were actually men who attended pleasure houses (called ‘yukaku’) to provide artistic and literary stimulation to male guests before they saw the courtesans for sex.
It wasn’t until the 20th century, especially in post-war Japan (when prostitution had become illegal,) that the definition of ‘geisha’ became somewhat blurred. Today, the term is used colloquially in the West to mean a high class prostitute or refined escort. In Japan, however, a true geisha remains a woman of high intellect, advanced musical and artistic talent and an intellectually stimulating entertainer of men. They train for years, usually from girlhood, and becoming a fully-fledged geisha is an accomplishment which provides great social status. But just because geisha don’t sell sex, they are still taught to use their sexuality to inform their other skills. They are taught how to entertain men, how to stimulate men and how to behave around men to satisfy them both intellectually and emotionally.
So we can take a lot from the way of the geisha to help boost our self-confidence, improve our own body image, learn how to attract men and keep their interest, and how to make them desire you and want to spend time with you.
1. Getting that Geisha confidence
One of the reasons geisha are so highly revered is that they are able to use their femininity and, to an extent, their sexuality, to express themselves, even if that self-expression has the ultimate aim of simply ‘entertaining’ men. But knowing that it’s up to you to beguile, amuse and intellectually stimulate your male companion is a huge confidence booster, because you are utilizing all your non-sexual skills to give a man a good time which, to many women, is a huge challenge.
Geisha are very well-educated, they know things about the world and they can initiate and hold conversations about subjects most people are ignorant about. It is their business to learn interesting topics, to know the politics of the day and also to be trained in several musical instruments, songs and other artistic endeavors. Possessing all these talents and skills is a massive boost for one’s self-esteem, because it proves to yourself that you are much more than “just a woman” or “just a sex object.” Discovering your own interests and developing them to such a high level that you could easily hold a conversation with an expert or scholar in the same subject, is very empowering. It also shows potential lovers that there is so much more to you on the inside, than what they see on the outside.
Using geisha culture to get self-educated and to widen your own learning horizons will help stimulate your brain, make you super-interesting to both men and women and enhance your intellectual respectability and sense of self-worth. It will also make you less reliant on others and make you feel more confident about making your own decisions because you will know something more of the wider world than the narrow one most of us inhabit.
2. Learning Geisha-style sexual confidence
Even though geisha aren’t – and never have been – prostitutes or escorts, that doesn’t mean that they don’t know how to use sexuality to please men. More importantly, being aware of one’s own attractiveness and knowing how to use it, means you’re more likely to find your own sexual match and be able to satisfy your own sexual desires. Sexual confidence isn’t the same as sexual experience so don’t be afraid to adopt geisha tactics to boost your own sexual self-worth – it doesn’t mean you’re going to suddenly start sleeping around or be ‘teasing,’ it simply means you will now be able to own your own sexuality and use it for your own ends.
Geisha are very good at fueling men’s visual fantasies and behaving with a sexual calmness which is guaranteed to drive men crazy. As mentioned, a geisha’s intellectual and educational talents are incredibly erotic to men which, added to their immaculate, colorful appearance and placid demeanor, mean that they are often a total enigma, and this is exactly the image you want to portray if you want to keep guys interested. Keep the mystery!
You don’t have to conform totally to geisha culture to be sexually inspired by them, however, especially as sex is never on their agenda! Instead, simply use a geisha’s sexual serenity, their seductive confidence and the eroticism of their self-education to help you behave in a more leveled, intuitive and sexually deliberate way in front of your lover or date.
3. Date like a Geisha – how to use non-sexual stimulation
If you’re dating, or are about to, there are several ways to use the geisha model to make your date memorable, or to make everyone take notice when you walk into a room. First impressions are everything when it comes to attracting a lover, so it’s vital to get the balance right between the overtly sexual you and the more modest, sensual and confident personality you want him to remember.
Geisha are beautiful, but they work on this a lot and can spend many hours getting ready for their clients. Everything from their ornate kimono and sleek, perfectly coiffured hair (usually a wig) to the famous white make-up and thin red lips, the geisha is literally a model of beauty. Of course, you don’t have to go to such extremes, but it does pay to spend enough time getting ready for your date, on everything from having perfect nails and fresh breath, to clothes which fit properly and which show off your best assets. When a potential date sees how much time you lavish on yourself, it gives him a hint of how much time you could be lavishing on him, too!
Geisha know how to walk and how to carry themselves. They spend years of training perfecting pace, gait and a rhythm of walking. Even though you don’t have so long to practice this, try and take more notice of ‘how’ you walk and the way it looks to other people. Confident people have a look about them, especially in the way they walk. Do you slouch your shoulders? Do you walk steadily and with purpose, or do you just rush about trying to get from A to B, not caring who’s watching you? Often, when a woman walks into a room, it’s not what she’s wearing or even what she looks like that men will notice, it’s how she’s carrying herself. Does she look confident? Does she look like a woman in control, a woman who knows what she wants? Because that is a woman that men want to get to know. Geisha know how to command presence, how to engage with men and how to maintain their attention, so these three things alone should guarantee you a successful date.
Looking to the geisha, then, can inspire not only sexual and personal confidence, it can broaden your intellectual horizons and help you discover the hidden talents and skills which lurk inside you. Unleash those, and who knows what kind of Naughty Girl you could become!